It's Christmas eve and you're not here Alfie, I still feel very numb to the whole thing, I'm missing you so so much especially at this time, as you should be here with your family. First Christmas without you is bound to be hard, I just want to block the whole thing out, but I can't as we have your beautiful big sister to celebrate it with. She's missing you too I think, and she keeps telling me 'it's alright mummy, Alfie's at the church!' She's an angel! And she was an angel in her first nativity play the other day, you would have loved watching her prancing about on stage! Please know that there is not a second that goes by that I don't crave and long for you darling, I just hope you are happy wherever you are and that there is someone to comfort you when you need your Mummy and Daddy. Love you Alfie, Merry Christmas Love your Mummy xxx