It is very difficult dear Alfie, and at times the weight of the load seems too much to bear; but we are here each day, turning our thoughts to you when it is right for us to do so. I know you will forgive us if at times we need to turn away from our grief, for there is only so much we can bear. It is not because we do not love you, it is because we do. The measure of our pain is also the measure of our love. This is complicated for us Alfie; and the suffering of our loss is compounded by the resentments, guilt and exhaustion that accompany our grief. Bear with us, for this may take some time; and there is nothing that can be done to alleviate our pain. We must feel it, as we do each time we feel our love for you. So be patient with our ways, and please accept our love whenever it is offered in our thoughts.